Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: You gonna answer it?
Andy: I called it myself. I just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.
Jim: Yikes.
Andy: Side note. I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you.
Jim: Thank you.
Andy: I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you're younger and have less experience. So here's to the future... Andy and the Tuna.
Jim: Hey.
Karen: Hey.
Jim: So Andy is in rare form today.
Karen: Yeah, you should not encourage him.
Jim: Encourage him? I'm the victim, okay? He's fishing for me. We've got to do something.
Karen: Look, I've got like fifteen new clients I inherited from Dwight and each file is password protected with a different mythical creature. So, I'm sorry. I can't.
Jim: Fine. Party pooper.
Jim: Hey, Ryan?
Ryan: What?
Jim: You wanna pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better when you were the temp.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
Karen: I guess Jim and I have had a little bit of a rough patch for the past couple weeks but we had some really good talks and actually now I think that we're better than ever.
[cut to Jim]
Jim: Karen and I had a long talk last night and the night before that and uh, every night, for the last five nights.
Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: Ugh.
Jim: Ugh.
Pam: Everything okay?
Jim: Oh yeah. Why?
Pam: Well you seem a little tired.
Jim: Oh. Yeah well, I guess there's been a couple late nights. Karen and I have been up talking.
Pam: You should get more sleep.
Jim: Yeah, I know I should.
Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours, compared to like six hours, like, big difference.
Jim: Really?
Pam: Oh yeah. Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping. Better than not.
Jim: Good advice Beesley. Thanks. See you out there.
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk.
Michael: Okay. We are off. Ryan and I are going to go get some supplies and I need you to handle hiring the strippers.
Jim: Absolutely not.
Dwight: I'm on it.
Michael: Well get on it. And make it happen.
Dwight: Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles, no tats. No, TATS. Of course I want-
Jim: Stop. That's disgusting.
Dwight: Leave me alone and get the male stripper.
Jim: Fine.
Dwight: I knew you would, Nancy.
Jim: Sally.
Dwight: No preference, what do you think redhead or brunette?
Jim: Blonde.
Dwight: Nice. Do you have any blonde women?
Ryan: He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling.
Michael: [Pokes Ryan with a sex toy] Gotcha, oh! [Phone rings] Yes?
Jim: Are you okay?
Michael: I'm in the, I'm in the sex shop.
Jim: Ah, gotcha.
Michael referred me to a male strip club called Banana Slings. Instead, I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.
Jim: Damn, lost another file. Going to have to reboot. Again. Hey, Dwight, do you want an Altoid?
Dwight: What do you think?
My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quantities and, uh, type of copier paper. You know, uh, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh, pay for it. And, um... I'm boring myself just talking about this.
