Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Andy: Hey. What are we doing? What's the game? I want in.
Jim: Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.
Andy: Did you... check the vending machine?
Karen: Oh, the vending machines! How did we miss that?
Jim: I have no idea. We went right for the copier... and then we checked the fax machine...
Andy: Did you... check... your... butt!?
Pam: What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.
Pam: Uh, oh, yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don't know. It felt far.
Jim: Yeah.
I started biking to work. Josh does it, and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also, it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment, and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.
Andy: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim: Excuse me?
Andy: Roller-coastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane.
Jim: Wow.
Andy: From Cheers.
Jim: Yup.
Andy: Yeah.
Andy: Hey, Big Tuna, you ready?
Jim: Yup.
Andy: [in a Scottish accent] One, two, three, SHOT!
Jim: Hey, can I have a ride, man? I, uh, I have my bike.
Andy: No way, dude. I am not driving home. I brought an inflatable bed for just such occasions. You're welcome to share it, though. It's a roomy twin.
Jim: I'm okay.
Karen: Hey dummy! Get in the car!
Jim: I'm a drunk driver.
Karen: Yes you are.
Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future: "Dwight, at 8am today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael would sell the building for some magic beans.
Jim
Karen: Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration?
Jim: Does he ever.
Kelly: Jim!!! Oh my god, I have so much to tell you. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby, and they named it Suri! And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie also had a baby, and they named is Shiloh! And both babies are amaziiiing!
Jim: Wow, so, uh, what's new with you?
Kelly: I just told you.
My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quantities and, uh, type of copier paper. You know, uh, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh, pay for it. And, um... I'm boring myself just talking about this.
