South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralJimbo Kern Quotes
Good job, Ned! Now they won't starve!
</i> Jimbo
Vietnam was more like shoving shards of broken glass up your ass and sitting in a tub of tabasco sauce fun.
Producer: Our ratings have gone up to twenty people.
Jimbo: Does that mean we get more money?
Producer: No, but I do!
Narrator: Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
Jimbo: Nope. He's gay.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Narrator: Is it Jimbo?
Jimbo: Daaagh!
Narrator: Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Officer Barbrady: Huh?! Where?!
Narrator: Or could it be Ned?
Ned: Could be.
Narrator: Or Mr. Broflovski??
Kyle: Dad, how could you?!
Narrator: Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
Cartman: What?! Son of a bitch!!
Don't feel too bad there, kid; I never knew who my father was, either. I mean, I did know who he was, and we had some great times together hunting and fishing... Well, hell, you know what I mean!
Stan: Holy Crap Dude, Satan's huge!
Jimbo: Now that's is the guy who has been eating a lot of beef.
Ned: What are we doing here?
Jimbo: Well Ned, we usually kidnap the Middle Park mascot, but this year, we're gonna blow it up!
Now boys, boys, I, I need to get serious for a minute. I want you to understand a few basic rules of hunting, since this is your first time. First, don't ever walk with your gun unless the safety's on. Second, don't shoot anything that looks human and third, never spill your beer in the bullet chamber.
Uncle Jimbo
Stan: Yeah, my Uncle Jimbo says we gotta get up there early. Right Uncle Jimbo?
Jimbo: That's right, Stanley. Animals are much easier to shoot in the morning.
Stan: Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned. You can't believe anything he says.
Cartman: Hey, I'll blow your friggin' head off.
Jimbo: Hey, look out son, that's dangerous. You're gonna spill your beer.
Jimbo: What's wrong with you?
Stan: I don't wanna shoot the bunny.
Jimbo: What do you mean you don't wanna shoot the bunny? You're babbling. You're not making any sense. You're hysterical!
Stan: Uncle Jimbo, we don't drink beer.
Jimbo: What?!
Ned: Oh yeah that's right I don't think 8 year olds drink beer.
Kyle: I like chocolate milk.
Jimbo: Well, we'll be doin' plenty of drinkin' on this hunting trip. After all, hunting sober is like... fishing... sober.
