Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: But you'd go out with me, right?
Monica: No! It is the same as with Chandler. We're friends.
Joey: Well, let's say we're the last two guys on the planet and you had a gun to your head. Which one would you pick?
Monica: Which one of you has the gun to my head?
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said "We should do this again!"
All: Oh. Ouch.
Rachel: What? He said "We should do it again," that's good, right?
Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated "We should do this again" means "You will never see me naked."
Rachel: Since when?
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Ya know, like, "It's not you" means "It is you."
Chandler: Or "You're such a nice guy" means "I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you."
Phoebe: Or, or, ya know, um, "I think we should see other people" means "Ha, ha, I already am."
Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.
Joey: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Joey: You broke the code!
Ross: What code?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-looking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!
Well, hello Mr. Kotter!
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Chandler: I think it's great. You know, it's sweet. It's romantic.
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy is a freak.
Joey: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea?
Phoebe: Mm... hmm.
Joey: This man is my god!
Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Ross: I think I'm just gonna go home and think of my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: Hell with the hockey! Let's all do that.
(To his father on sleeping with his girlfriend) I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Now go to my room!
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"
