Popular Jonathan Ames Quotes
She liked me! And my pot.
The only thing that I found in the kitchen is an unopened bottle of kombucha tea..why would they leave this? This stuff is great and so expensive!
(realizing that they got caught breaking and entering by some Rabbi's) Hey - it's okay! I'm Jewish!
They say the pen is mightier than the sword.
Stella: Want to vaporize some more pot?
Jonathan: I want to vaporize you.
Jonathan: Sal, I'm scared.
Sal: That is okay. All fighters are scared, but once you get into the ring, you are like a God.
Jonathan: But I'm agnostic.
Sal: I'll say a prayer for you.
You know Stella, you're the best thing in my life.
(to Stella) I thought you were happy with me and I found your G-spot and everything.
Ray: How does that feel?
Jonathan: It feels comforting actually.
Ray: Does George have a nice ass?
Jonathan: It was very white.
Ray: I figured.
The meat packing district really has become Los Angeles.
Jonathan: George, why are you having an affair with your ex-wife?
George: Because I've never fallen out of loved with her.
I think I may have the smallest penis in the world.
