Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Dr. Zeltzer: So, Mr. Sullivan, your blast percentage is quite a bit higher than we all expected. Around eighty percent.
Ben: That's bad, right? You want the number to be low, huh? Like in, uh, golf?
Dr. Zeltzer: Yes, exactly. Like in golf. Do you-do you play?
Jordan: Oh, who the hell cares if he plays golf?!
Dr. Zeltzer: Uh, I was bonding.
Ben: Hey, doing a good job, too
J.D.: So, you're gonna wanna re-wrap the gauze when it gets soiled.
Jordan: Wow, re-wrap a dirty bandage. It's phenomenal how you doctors keep all this stuff in your head.
J.D.: You know, we don't - it says it right there on the box
Ben: Hey, don't be mean to him. You're mad at me.
Jordan: Yeah, because you shouldn't be doing contracting work. You. Are. Clumsy! That's why things like this keep happening.
Ben: They don't keep happening.
Jordan: How many times have you hurt yourself with that nail-gun?
Ben: Once.
Jordan: Oh, come on.
Ben: What? With that nail-gun? It's a new nail-gun. If it'd been any other nail-gun, then, yeah, the estimate would be slightly higher
Ben: Jordan, I'll call you later, all right?
Jordan: Okay, fine. Forget it. Forget it. You big jerk!
Dr. Cox: Y'happen to remember when she used to be fun?
Ben: No.
Dr. Cox: Me neither.
J.D.: Me neither!
Dr. Cox: When spoken to, Newbie. When spoken to. Here, I thought we were clear on that one!
J.D.: Yeah, we were
Jordan: Hey honey, I'm home! You know, you should lock your door there's horrible people out there.
Dr. Cox: There's horrible people right in here.
Jordan: May you forgot how this works, see, when I say that "Hi honey" thing, you take your pants off. See, that's the rules of the booty call.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, believe me, I enjoy our meaningless, post-divorce sex as much as the next guy you will marry, but your timing ca-ould not be worse.
Jordan: Oh...maybe you don't remember the terms of our settlement. When Jordan needs sex, Jordan gets sex
Dr. Cox: Listen, Sweetcheeks, I am seeing someone who-
Jordan: Let me guess, let me guess - dark haired, domineering, doesn't take any of your crap? You see, a lesser person would mock your inability to move on. I'm going to consider it an homage.
Dr. Cox: There is something so...soft about you
Dr. Cox: Look, I am seeing someone right now - who, by the way, is great - and yet there's this other woman who I cannot get out of my head. She's totally unavailable, which may be why I can't get her out of my head, and maybe, and this is a whole new theory - I keep thinking of this other woman - the unavailable one - because I am so afraid that the first thing might actually work out and God forbid I ever do something that might actually make me happy. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?
Jordan: Oh my God. If I have to stay here and listen to this crap, I'll need a stronger drink.
Dr. Cox: I hate you.
Jordan: I hate you, too, honey.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough
Jordan: See, I told you when he saw us together he'd fold his arms and do the teeth thing.
Kristen: You know, he did the same thing the first time I saw him naked.
Jordan: No way, same here.
Kristen: Really?
Jordan: Yeah.
Dr. Cox: Ohh-kay, this is beyond horrible.
Jordan: Would you relax, Perry, I just came by for a board meeting and I wanted to meet the new lady in your life... and warn her.
Kristen: Thank you.
Jordan: You're welcome.
Dr. Cox: Kristen... this is my emotional baggage. Baggage... Kristen
Dr. Cox: No, wait a minute - you don't have to go... you know, if... if you don't want to.
Jordan: Oh my God, are you really that lonely?
Dr. Cox: Kinda, yeah.
Jordan: All right, I'll toss you a quickie, but no talking
J.D.'s narration: And then something amazing happened - they connected. And all the hatred they had for each other was suddenly focused on me!
Jordan: Excuse me, Sally Sensitive, I don't remember asking you anything. Your mom's aware that she'll eventually have to stop the breast-feeding, right?
Dr. Cox: So baby Charlie is the bald one?
Jordan: Yeah. He wouldn't be smiling so much if he knew how ugly his parents were.
Dr. Cox: You're a sexy bitch.
Jordan: Thanks
Dr. Cox: I'm assuming, since you already went ahead and took everything else, that you're here for my self respect - but there's bad news on that one, sweet-cheeks: I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry ya!
Jordan: Oh, I wouldn't have room for it, anyway, what with your testicles in my trophy case.
