The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it - making sh*tloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way in case one day you're not famous you can still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you.

I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k... everyone.

But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.

I play real sports, not try to be the best at exercising.

Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism.

A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

I'm Kenny Powers! And I am very upset with how I am acting right now. I just have a very hard time expressing my emotions, and I can't stop from yelling.

I am talking about me. I want — these are questions about me personally as a superstar. You know, you got this moment in time here with an American icon and you're gonna waste it asking a question about the f*cking mile?

Kid in Gym Class: My dad said you ruined baseball.
Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don't like you. And I'm probably not going to like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. If anybody wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, cause I aint watching.

Kenny: Did you get my shit?
(Clegg hands a bag to Kenny)
Kenny: Why is it in a fucking zip-lock bag? What is this mushrooms? Clegg, I'm talking about steroids.

(To his hired date) I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that.

(To Rose) I'm sorry we didn't get a lot of time to hang out. I'll be honest with you, sometimes I forgot you even existed.

Eastbound & Down Quotes

Down there I fought and fucked my way to being the greatest gringo that country has ever seen.


It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans than to be strangled by no one.