Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.

Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

You have a week to lose 10 pounds. It's like trying to lose one of my butt cheeks.

Kurt: You shouldn't be embarrassed about your boy.
Mercedes: Embarrassed ? I'm worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

Kurt: Mercedes is black, I'm gay: We make culture.

Rachel: Good luck winning without me.
Kurt: Everyone is replaceable, even you.

I feel like Lady GaGa.

I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.

Rachel: I thought we were friends.
Kurt: What made you think that?

It makes it hard to appreciate your talent because I wanna shove a sock in your throat.

You need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time, I can't stand to be in the same room as you.

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day. Thank you.

Will

Did somebody die in here?

Sam