Larry David Quotes
Not one Spanish person has figured out that piata is a sick fucking game?
You're nothing without your health. Some people are nothing even with their health. I fall in that category, sometimes.
Loretta: LD, do you know what it feels like to have cancer?
Larry: I know what it feels like to be with someone who has cancer.
Larry: Why are you fucking around with married women?
Leon: Ass is ass, Larry.
Larry: I'm going to dinner with Jeff and Susie and Richard Lewis and his new girlfriend, if you want to come along.
Loretta: Any black people gonna be there?
Larry: No.
Loretta: Then why would I want to go?
Larry: There might be some people with cancer there.
I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
You can't make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser. They take you up on it!
Can I tell you something about apricots? 1 in 30 is a good one. It's such a low percentage fruit.
Jeff: Why didn't you say hello to him? You know him.
Larry: I know. He wanted to do a stop-and-chat. I didn't want to do a stop-and-chat.
Jeff: "Stop-and-chat?" Where do you come up with these things?
Do you think we really needed Alaska and Hawaii? They gotta ruin everything. They ruined the continental United States. Ruined it! We have a beautiful Pacific coast, Atlantic coast, that's the continental United States. You don't need more states. We're not the British Empire. Are they trying to turn us into the British Empire? And what is Puerto Rico anyway?
Grape works as a soda. Sort of as a gum. I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie. Grape pie? There's no grape pie
Are we settled down, you think? I mean, what do you have to be to be settled down? We have a house and chairs
