Larry David Quotes
Kiera: Do you like girl scout cookies?
Larry: I find them abhorrent, but come in.
I get plenty of hook ups Larry. You don't see 'em. You don't notice the small shit, Larry.
Leon
Larry: It says "all you can eat."
Manager: Well it's all "you can eat."
Cheryl: What are you doing?
Larry: I'm practicing a tic I'm working on.
I can call you bald. It's like black people calling each other n*gga. Hey baldy. Ya know.
You should have recused yourself. We can't go up against each other. It's in the code. The bald code.
Larry: You know what Berg, I like the cut of your jib.
Berg: Thank you very much Captain.
You can't make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser.
Dr. Schaffer: Your life is mostly going to be taking her to appointments or here with her in the house.
Larry: I can still play golf.
Dr. Schaffer: Absolutely not. I don't imagine you'd have time for that.
Larry: Once a week?
Dr. Schaffer: No times a week. You won't have time for that.
Larry: What? Nine holes?
Dr. Schaffer: Zero holes, Mr. David!
Cady: People are gonna love you.
Larry: Why are they gonna love me? People dislike me intensely.
Anna: It's the sabbath; I cannot drive.
Larry: We can walk. I'll take you piggy-back.
Anna: (sexy) Oh, now you're talking!
Larry: (on Antoinette) Her boyfriend broke up with her, and frankly, I'd like to do the same.
Jeff: Why don't you fire her?
Larry: I can't.
Jeff: Why not?
Larry: Because she knows everything about me. She knows my dietary habits. She knows all about my web of lies and bullshit and deceit.
