Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Leonard: Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: Oh, I hate when that happens.

You call that a glowstick? [Pulls out his light saber and turns it on.] That is a glowstick!

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago, everything about her is on you: you make it so!

Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!

Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.

Raj: The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

Sheldon: How could you not find him?
Leonard: Because he's hard to find. If he was easy to find, the books would be called "There's Waldo."

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.