NCIS
Mondays 8:00 PM on CBSLeroy Jethro Gibbs Quotes
I can’t help unless you help yourself. Time to tear off that band-aid.
Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!
Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!
McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!
Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.
You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.
Gibbs [to Reeves]
Bishop: If it did happen, and that is a big “if,” I wonder if Top Gun beach volleyball was involved, because I can totally picture Torres running around the sand in tight jeans…
Gibbs: Fantasize on your own time, Bishop!
Congresswoman Flemming: Oh, Gibbs, you’re here!
Gibbs: Yes. I work here.
Ducky: How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one’s table.
Gibbs: Yeah? I thought it was just an old dead guy.
Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…
Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]
Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.
Reeves: We spoke to your wife. She said you were at the office all night.
Gibbs: No nookie!
