Lily van der Woodsen Quotes
Rufus: I just got the call. You are officially a free woman.
Lily: Oh my god, Rufus. Is this for real?
Rufus: One hundred percent. Your ankle monitor was deactivated an hour ago.
Serena: Mom, I saw her myself. She's fine. I promise.
Lily: Well that's not for you to decide. Carol is her mother and I'm not going to participate in deceiving her.
Nate: What are your plans for the summer, Mrs. Humphrey?
Lily: Well I'm going to be getting very pale. This thing doesn't come off until the fall. Just in time to send my baby off to college.
Eric: Sarah Lawrence is like 15 minutes. I don't really think I need to be sent off. A light breeze could take me there.
Rufus: He's getting 20 years.
Chuck: Sounds fair. That's how long he kept the secret.
Lily: Well I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, I'll tell you that.
My apartment is teeming with women throwing back champagne cocktails and toasting my misfortune. Honestly, it's worth risking an orange jumpsuit not to have to face another Botox bitch and a pink cocktail dress.
Lily: I did not reject you. All I ever wanted was your approval.
Carol: Well you got it now. Turning yourself in. Not giving a damn what people think. That's my Lily.
Lily: Will you come visit me in prison?
Carol: I will smuggle you pot brownies.
Carol: I hope that Charlie speaks to me on the plane.
Lily: Serena says they had a great girls' night. Probably just want she needed. In light of, you know, your decades of massive hypocrisy.
Will: Lily, I did not sabotage the photo shoot. I hope that you realize that.
Lily: Oh, I'm not even sure I care if you did. I mean let's face it, me, Cece and Carol all in the same room. The night was doomed to be apocalyptic.
Lily: Finds out about what?
Cece: That I'm not happy with my hair. It's too flat.
Lily: Mother, your hair is enormous.
Of course Mother paid you to be here. I am so foolish to think that you would have come because you cared.
For gods sake, Carol. It's a necklace, not a heroin needle.
Rufus! We found leg warmers! No, I'm not drunk.
