Luke Danes Quotes
Jess: We should have eaten before we came.
Luke: Shh! And, yeah.
Jess: What's the white stuff?
Luke: I think it's cream ... or cheese.
Jess: How about the green stuff?
Luke: I think it's ... best picked off.
Luke: Gotta say sleigh rides are a little much but these horses are really beautiful.
Lorelai: Yes, especially from this angle.
Luke: Not just from this angle.
Lorelai: No, seriously don't back track. The horse has got a nice butt there.
Luke: That's not what I'm saying.
Lorelai: Nice firm hine.
Luke: Stop talking about the horse's hine.
(About inviting everyone to the Inn)
Lorelai: An out of control, over the top slumber party!
Sookie: I love it!
Rory: Me too!
Lorelai: Done! Spread the word.
Luke: I haven't said I'd come yet so I'm certainly not gonna suddenly become your messenger boy. (Lorelai gives him a glaring look) Eight o'clock?
Lorelai: Seven.
Luke: Right.
Lorelai: Why are you being so mean to me?
Luke: I'm not being mean.
Lorelai: Yes you are. You're being mean.
Luke: Sookie, am I being mean?
Sookie: Well, I wouldn't pay you to put on a red nose and work a birthday party right now.
Luke: Thank God for that.
Lorelai: Why are you so mad at me?
Luke: I just think it's embarrassing.
Lorelai: What is so embarrassing?
Luke: You running around with that kid.
Lorelai: I wasn't running, he's not a kid. We had dinner. You say Chuck E. Cheese, I'll break your nose.
Luke: Hey, I'm not gonna say anything. You go live your life as you please. I got work to do.
(He walks away leaving a confused Lorelai behind)
Lorelai: Hey, are you good at dating?
Luke: What?
LORELAI: Dating, do you have that down?
Luke: Okay, if this is about that kid, then
Lorelai: No, it's not about anything, it's just a question.
Luke: Well, I don't know if I have it down. Considering I live with my nephew, I'd say probably not.
Lorelai:: I don't have it down either. I've never been very good at it really. I've never even really liked it. Too much 'what if'. I like things I can count on. I mean, uh, actually, with Max, it was the first time I was finally like 'Hey, here it is, that one person who will always be there for me.' And then, I turned around, and it's suddenly 'Oops, wrong, keep moving.'
Luke: Why are you telling me this?
Lorelai: I don't have many people in my life who are in my life permanently, forever. They will always be there for me, I will always be there for them. There's Rory and Sookie, this town and you. I mean at least I think I've got...
Luke: You do.
Taylor: This goes well beyond a head of lettuce, young man. The charges against your nephew are numerous. He stole the 'save the bridge' money.
Luke: He gave that back.
Taylor: He stole a gnome from Babette's garden.
Luke: Pierpont was also returned.
Miss Patty: He hooted one of my dance classes.
Fran: He took a garden hose from my yard.
Man: My son said he set off the fire alarms at school last week.
Lorelai: I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter.
Lorelai: Aha!
Luke: Geez! Don't sneak up on me like that.
Lorelai: Yeah, boy, I was lucky you had your phasers on stun, huh?
Rory: Well, at least we're not late. Luke's never late.
Luke: Actually, we're two minutes early.
Rory: Ha! We should get a prize for being on time.
Lorelai: Hey Luke, let's go back to the diner and get some pie as our reward for being on time.
Luke: Then you'd be late.
Lorelai: A funny conundrum, but I want pie.
Luke: You're harassing me now.
Lorelai: I'm not harassing you. We're your groupies. (in high-pitched voice) Oh Luke, you're so dreamy, be my guy!
Rory: (in high-pitched voice) No, be my guy!
Luke: I'm bringing up the need for more police protection at this thing.
Mia: And there was that year you wore the same shirt everywhere you went.
Luke: I don't remember that.
Lorelai: Must have been something flannel.
Mia: No, it was from that TV show, that famous one.
Luke: It's not important.
Mia: Star Trek, that's it!
Luke: Jess, this is Mia. She owns the Independence Inn.
Jess: Oh.
Luke: That's "hello, nice to meet you" in slacker.
Rory: You were a Trekkie?
Luke: I was not a Trekkie.
Lorelai: Oh. Oh, I do believe denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive.
Rory: Indubitably, Captain.
Lorelai: I just flat out panicked about the enormity of what we were getting into and it clobbered me, and I clobbered Sookie, and I was such a jerk. Hey, if I cry, will it freak you out?
Luke: Totally.
Lorelai: What if I whimper?
Luke: How about you suck it up?
Lorelai: Hmm, I'll try.
Luke: I don't get it. You're as ready as you've ever been.
Lorelai: Oh Luke, do not underestimate the complete and total lack of confidence I have in my abilities.
Luke: What? You're the most confident person I know. Obnoxiously so.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Luke: I mean in a good way. You're good at what you do and you know it.
Lorelai: Oh, no, no, no. I'm good at doing what I have to do. When I had to get a job, I got it. When I had to find a house for us and a life for us, I got it. When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it. But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn. I don't have to go into business for myself, I don't have to walk out on that limb and risk everything I've worked for.
Luke: Then do it.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just stay where you are.
Lorelai: What is this, reverse psychology?
Luke: No, just stay at the inn. You're happy there.
Lorelai: Oh, so you think I can't hack it.
Luke: Of course you can hack it.
Lorelai: Great, lip service, that's what I need.
Luke: Hey, if I start to cry, will that freak you out?
Lorelai: Ugh. I couldn't stay where I am if I wanted. Mia is selling the inn. And that hit me hard too, maybe harder than the other thing. I'm gonna be without a home.
Luke: What do you mean? This is your home.
Lorelai: No, I mean a home home. A memory home. The inn is where Rory took her first step. It's where I took my first step. It's more of a home to me more than my parents' house ever was.
Luke: You're just scared. Just like everybody else when they're taking on something big.
Lorelai: Well, then what does everybody else do to get through this feeling?
Luke: They run in the back, throw up, pass out and then smack their head on the floor.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: That's what I did on the first morning I opened the diner. Look, there is no button to push to get you through this. You just gotta jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
Lorelai: How long 'til the diner got fun?
Luke: About a year.
Lorelai: Wow. And there's no button?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: How about a lever, can I pull a lever?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: Turn a knob?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: You just jump?
Luke: You just jump.
Lorelai: I wanna do it.
Luke: You should do it.
