Quimby: Don't you idiots see what this means.
Lenny: Idiots? Why do we re-elect this guy?
Carl: Because his opponent has a long Slavic name.

It is with great pride that I place the safety of our city in the hands of the first four people who showed up.

Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

In you go, boys. We've got everything--warm beds, square meals, homeless women.

</i> Mayor Quimby

We have nothing to fear but the aliens and their vastly superior killing technology!

Greetings, fellow Irishmen and lady-Irishmen!

Please use your time in line wisely to Sophie's Choice your child.

Mayor Quimby: First, one announcement: I regret to inform you we are not offering childcare tonight. I don't know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.

That's chowdah! Chowdah! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Especially those of you in the jury!

Freddy Quimby

(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, er, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.

Brad Goodman: Let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Mayor Quimby: I, er, can't commit to a relationship.
Mr. Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with--
Lenny: I'm always interrupting people!

The Simpsons Quotes

One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..

Grampa

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"