Michael Bluth Quotes
Tobias: Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.
Michael: You can just say intercourse.
Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.
Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.
Michael: That might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.
Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So, he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Ok, but that's the last one.
So, you guys did know about this secret room, too.</i> Michael
Jan: You never heard anyone in your family discuss plans to either travel to Iraq or do business there?
Tobias: Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts and --
Jan Your witness.
Michael: I have nothing.
Narrator: ... and Michael discovers that he wasn't "N. Bluth" after all.
Michael: I have an older sister?
Narrator: So much for not abandoning family.
Michael: Nichael Bluth? Am I N. Bluth? Is he trying to set me up? If I'm N. Bluth, I'm going to prison.
Narrator: Nichael was worried.
Michael: Gob, I'm not going to turn this mock trial into some kind of --
Gob: You were going to say "mockery," weren't you?
Michael: I was in trouble, like, three words into that.
Doctor: You could be a groom. Bring a little girlfriend up there with you.
George Michael: Oh, I don't have a girlfriend.
Doctor: A sister then, or a cousin. 'Course, you're gonna have to kiss.
Narrator: Guess who liked that idea?
Michael: Hey. What's this?
Gob: Just practicing my testimony. Needed a fake witness box.
Michael: And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first, or unplugged my computer?
Gob: Justice is swift, Michael.