You got rid of Henifer!

Phil: On the trip's final morning, Dede was found in her room. She had apparently passed peacefully in her sleep, as a smile graced her face and her hands clutched ten pages of suggestions for the hotel staff.
Claire: That is so mom.
Mitch: Easy.

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I know you're scared, but you should feel proud. You took kind of a weird kid and turned him into somebody so comfortable with himself, he's willing to take on a pretty big adventure.

Cam

Margaret is very vulnerable! I've had to rescue her a bunch of times from cults and an Amway pyramid.

Jay

Hey, you're blocking the driveway. Hit the road already.

Haley

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil

Mitch: It is a lot less money though.
Cam: Well, you know, we don't have to decide today.

You'll get a donut when I get answers, you piece of trash.

Cam

Lilly: Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
Mitch: No
Cam: No, not a chance.

You two did hip hop without us?

Mitchell: What're you doing?
Pam: I'm making one of your fruit smoothies.
Mitchell: Uh Pam...
Pam: Fine, I'm making one of your homosexual smoothies.

Cam: The doctor says absolutely no sun while I'm on these antibiotics.
Mitchell: What would happen? Because if it's anything short of death, I think you should risk it.

Modern Family Quotes

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil