Favorite Narrator Quotes
Kitty: Your wife's on line one.
Narrator: Michael's wife had been dead for two years.
Michael: My what?
Narrator: Kitty realized her mistake.
Kitty: I said, 'your wife is on line one.'
Narrator: But not immediately.
Narrator: The family continued to chant "speech, speech, speech" for no one in particular.
(clapping ceases)
Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech.
Buster: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Michael: I'll say something.
Gob: Typical.
Gob: Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son ...
Narrator: He does.
Gob: But if I ever do, I'm either gonna take him to the cabin in the woods. Or I'm gonna promise to take him and then not take him, but the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him.
Narrator: Gob was growing up.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Now that's a clear situation with the promise of comedy. Tell your friends about this show!
Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket. But Gob did...
Gob: Portugal?
Narrator: ...Which confirmed his suspicions.
Gob: Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh Mikey?
Michael: Oh, no. What, Buster, for the first time ever, doesn't want to do this?
Lucille: No, no, he does. It's just he's been so mopey.
Michael: Well, that could have something to do with the fact that a seal ate his hand.
Lucille: I don't know what it is.
Michael: I think that's what it is.
Lucille: Who knows?
Narrator: It was that.
Narrator: Michael realized that his father had even taken control of the banana stand, but he still had some unanswered questions, so he did a little detective work.
Michael: You burn down the storage unit?
T-Bone: Oh, most definitely.
Narrator: But she did have a list of won'ts.
Nellie: We're gonna have some ground rules first, ok? No (bleep bleep bleep) or (bleep). And no (bleep) unless you're wearing a (bleep) or you (bleep bleep). If this winds up on the Web, I will (bleep) you in the (bleep).
Ted: Our computers don't even work on the internet.
As a child, Buster had a beloved parakeet who, after landing on their housekeeper Rosa's wig, flew away when she took out the trash ... and into a transformer. When Buster found out, he destroyed the family's kitchen -- believing this to be where Rosa lived.
Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.
Lucille: (to the hot sailors) You boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.
