Perry Cox Quotes
Murray: Before you say anything I just want you to know, if you need a kidney, you can have mine.
Mark: Really?
Murray: For $70,000.
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much that I want to have sex with it.
Dr. Cox: Who gave you this number?
J.D.: I'm asking for your help here.
Dr. Cox: Ok, but I think it's very important to focus on the "who gave you this number" issue.
J.D.: Fine. Maybe I got too involved like you said, but would it kill you for once to acknowledge for that my heart was in the right place instead of spending all your time berating me.
Dr. Cox: You got this number from Jordan didn't you? She hates me.
J.D.: You will never guess what I found on the computer!
Dr. Cox: Is it a set of adult male shoulders?
J.D.: They had to trim them to get me out of that well.
Dr. Cox: Oh, right.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, yeah. Look, Claudia: Just promise me you won't get too involved with your patient. Okay?
J.D.'s Narration: After getting more involved, I found out Mr. Marks's son was an air-traffic controller at a small private airport.
J.D.: Anyway, know Mr. Marks? He said he doesn't have any family to be a kidney donor? But he's got a son! We gotta find this guy!
Dr. Cox: Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself. Like, say, he's got a son. Or he's 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover?
J.D.: Ah, that's a horse with a sword on his head, and he's there to guard my hopes and dreams.
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe I got too involved with Murray and his fake real dad. But as I watched Gregory serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realized something. If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him, maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank-you for the same thing.
J.D.: Hey. I just wanted to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem.
Dr. Cox: My pleasure.
Dr. Cox: You do know he's not yours, don'cha.
Mr. Marks: I figured it out. Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her. But there were other signs.
Dr. Cox: 'Course.
Dr. Cox: Boy, tell me about it. You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face.
Mr. Marks: Do you wanna sing about him?
Dr. Cox: No. Not ever.
Murray: I don't know if I can go through with this. I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
Dr. Cox: Hey, jerk-hole.
J.D./Murray: Yeah?
Dr. Cox: No, new jerk-hole!
J.D.'s Narration: No matter how much we like to pretend otherwise, strong confident women will always have the power over us. Whether they're fighting for respect, fighting for their man, or even just fighting for the hell of it. Strong women make all guys feel the same way.
The three women walking down the hall, past the guys who turn into little boys.
Little Cox: Jordan looks mad, I should go.
Little Turk: I have to pick up Carla's dry-cleaning.
Janitor: Well, what do we have here?
Little J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: I heard from a reliable source that you want to live in dumpster. I can arrange that. Yep, I know just the right neighborhood.
I should have known, Barbie. Hell, you have been impersonating a doctor since the first day you got here.
Dr. Cox
Carla: Now don't you let anything else get into that beautiful head of yours. Okay?
Turk: What could get into this man's head, baby? Huh?
Dr. Cox: Tough day, huh? You wanna talk about it?
