Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: Well, you have done it. It's Friday night, and instead of being at home, drinking whiskey through my son's sippy cup, I'm actually at a carnival with you, surrounded by piles of manure even though I've yet to see a single animal!
J.D.: That is weird...
Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what, how 'bout we head right on over there, and if you can raise that hammer above your head with those chicken bones you call arms, I'll let you take a free whack at my dome.
J.D.: First of all, I already raised the hammer; and the only reason I didn't ring the bell is that the game is obviously rigged.
There's a ding at the game
Kid: Woo-hoo!
Dad: Good job, son!
Dr. Cox: Uh-huh.
J.D.: Look, the only positive thing about this whole situation is that it's driving you crazy and there's nothing you can do about it.
Another ding comes from the hammer game
Kid: Way to go, Gina!
J.D.: Oh, come on!
Dr. Cox: You know, Danni, I think it's amazing that you're actually comfortable dating J.D., what with him having nailed Jordan and all.
Carny: Uh, sorry, folks. A little problem here. Get you down in about an hour or so.
J.D.: I don't feel so good.
Dr. Cox: Well, we sent some haz-mat guys over to your apartment, but they said there were no signs of pesticides.
J.D.: They also said you mixed art deco with Indonesian antiques. I think that is so daring!
Jill: Aww.
Dr. Cox: Reel it in, Queer Eye.
J.D.: Hey, you should know your little cheap shot didn't land, because Danni isn't mad at me at all... Hey, Baby! You comin' to give pop-pop some candy? 'Cause I'm hungry!
Danni ignores him and boards the elevator.
J.D.: Oh-okay, later's fine too.
Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah. I mean, I can-I can feel the love all over!
Dr. Cox is reading a letter from J.D.
J.D.: Dear Dr. Cox, I think it's important that you know how much I care for Danni, and how hurt I was by your attempt to sabotage our relationship.
Dr. Cox: Oh, de-de-de-isn't it enough that I'm reading it!?
J.D.: Oh, I'm sorry.
Jordan: Sweetie, you can't take this personally. He's a doctor - they don't listen to anyone.
Dr. Cox: Please don't lump us all together with numb-nuts over here.
J.D.: So say it again.
Danni: No, you have to earn it.
J.D.: I'll try.
They kiss deeply
Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sake, we're watching a movie here.
Jordan: Shh!
Dr. Cox: Kill me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, maybe I wasn't clear enough with you on Miss Bartow over there.
J.D.: Here it comes. I'm incompetent. I'm a girl. I'm a little girl. I'm a little girl with pigtails that rides a tricycle.
Dr. Cox: No. Well, yes...
Jordan: I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny. She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.
Dr. Cox: Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model. At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.
Elliot: But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr. Kelso was telling us that he wants -
Dr. Cox: Ugssshhhhh. I don't ever want to hear anything that's come out of that man's mouth; unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God! I'm dying. Now I'm moving towards the light. But wait a minute, there's been a mistake! This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? That's weird!" Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.
Elliot: Dolphin trainer sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.
Dr. Cox: Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting. Too bad.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, the fact that these residents are spending most of their time buzzing around that one patient makes me think that you told them to disobey a direct order from me.
Dr. Cox: Bob Kelso, that's just not true. Here, I told them to disregard all direct orders from you.
