Later, Losers!

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you

Raj [to Sheldon]

No wrapper's gonna tell me what to do, unless it's Jay-Z.

Oh, how about Rocket Man?

Leonard's going all alpha-nerd on Sheldon's ass!

Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.

My dad says it's because the sound of my mom's voice makes him want to tear his ears off and sew them over his eyes so he never has to look at her again.

Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.

Raj: No, no, no, no, that rate is much too low for what you'd expect from this collision. Do you understand we're taking about dark matter colliding in outer space?
Sheldon: Yes, of course I understand, and who are you to tell me about outer space?
Raj: Well, I am the astrophysicist! Astro means space!
Sheldon: Astro means star.
Raj: Okay, let me just tell you, if we were having this argument in my native language, I'd be kicking your butt!
Sheldon: English is your native language!

Look, if you want your relationship with Leonard to continue you're going to have to believe whatever wild-eyed cockamamie excuse the white devil has the nerve to offer you.

Raj [to Priya on the phone]

I like you a lot and that's scary for me. Mostly because you're a proven flight risk.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.