The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSPopular Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Leonard: No, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
Raj: Like who?
Leonard: I don't know... Olivia Geiger?
Sheldon: The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and lazy eye?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Well, I don't think you have a shot there
Sheldon: I have got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon. Help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the sword master!
Wolowitz: Leonard, look out!
Leonard: Damn it, Sheldon, we're dying here.
Sheldon: Goodbye, peasants.
Leonard: Bastard teleported!
Raj: He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay.
Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
Sheldon: I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait... somebody just clicked Buy It Now.
Wolowitz: I am the sword master!
Can we please make a decision? Not only there are children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!
Koothrappali [on waiting for food]
Raj [drunk]: Where did my life go, Penny?
[everyone is shocked Raj is talking to Penny]
Raj: One day, I'm a carefree bachelor, and the next, I'm married and driving a minivan to pee-wee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.
Penny: Are you talking to me?
Raj: Is there another Penny here?
Penny [to Raj about Lalita]: No one can make you get married. Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens?
Raj: Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard: Um, Raj?
Wolowitz: No, no, let's see how long it takes him
Leonard: Look at the bright side. [Lalita] might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl.
Raj: Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her, and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence.
Wolowitz: Worked for my parents
I had such plans. I had dreams. I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics... but with a penis, of course
How can I be a gynocologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!
Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But you're a dentist, he's nuts
If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done
Raj [on approaching a girl]
Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
Wolowitz: Or can we...!?
Sheldon [to Kripke]: Also, I am given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Raj: Oh, snap.
Sheldon: Now of course, if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony then I withdraw that comment.
