Popular Ron Swanson Quotes
Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this deputy director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone.
Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.
Ron: Come on Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women.
Leslie: You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.
Elise: But, if you give a women's award to a mustacheoed, masculine man such as yourself, well then eventually people take notice.
Ron: I don't want the damn thing.
Elise: Well we're giving it to you. So, you're going to take it, like a man. So congratulations.
Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.
Hey, Mark. Welcome to my haven. You're the first non-me to set foot in this building in ten years.
Mark: Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.
Mark: You've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?
Those dates are arbitrary. They're like those expiration dates that the government forces companies to put on yogurt and medicine.
Ron: I understand that city codes exist. And I know why they exist. And I understand that you enforce them.
Mark: OK.
Ron: OK, good talk. Can you sign off on my plans now?
Ron: No, I'm bringing my workshop up to the Swanson code. And if the Swanson code happens to overlap with the city government code...
Mark: Shut up!
This is my basketball court. I don't want to see any double dribbles. I don't want to see any three second violations.
