Ross Geller Quotes
Ross: (About Carol being a lesbian) She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (Everyone turns to stare at him) Did I just say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Monica: Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: Hey, Paul, the wine guy.
Ross: Hey, Paul.
Phoebe: Hey, Paul.
Rachel: Hi, Paul.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Ross: Leave my aura alone.
Phoebe: Fine, be murky.
Joey: What are you talking about? "One woman." That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer.
Monica: Why? Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?!
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than "to get you into bed."
Phoebe: I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison. And I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. (To Rachel) So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. (Pause)
Ross: (To Rachel) The word you're looking for is "anyway."
Monica: I said that you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Ross: There's an image.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Ross: I'll be fine. Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No, you don't.
Ross: No, I don't. To hell with her. She left me!
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
Ross: You probably never knew this but back in high school I had a major crush on you.
Rachel: I knew.
Ross: You probably just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Rachel: I did.
