Serena van der Woodsen Quotes
Serena: Whenever something happens that is not part of your plan, you pretend like it doesn't exist. You act like you're in this movie about your perfect life, but I have to remind you that the only one watching it is you. You admitted that your period is late.
Blair: Yes! I've been very stressed. I had that chem test last Friday.
Serena: Did you get my text?
Blair: Of course. Yes, I did.
Serena: So, you know that I told Dan I'm not pregnant.
Blair: Yes. And I'm so happy for you. Close call, huh?
Serena: Are we really going to play that old game, B?
Blair: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Serena: I never thought I was pregnant. The test was for Blair.
Dan: Yeah? But she just got back together with Nate.
(awkward pause)
Dan: Oh... then who?
Serena: Chuck.
Dan: Chuck? And Blair? Blair and Chuck? Then why isn't he the one buying the test?
Serena: Because...
Dan: Because he's an ass.
Serena: Who doesn't know.
Dan: Why not? I mean, there's no love lost between me and Chuck Bass, but he deserves to know.
Dan: Well, let's try this. Why don't you tell me what's on your mind. Then it can be on our minds. And our minds can worry about what's on your mind... together.
Serena: I have no idea what you just said.
Serena: I need to talk to you.
Chuck: About getting knocked up? I must say I was a little disappointed you weren't more careful.
Serena: Hi, Chuck.
Chuck: Please, call me brother.
Serena: There's no moving on just yet. The pregnancy test wasn't for me, it was for Blair.
Chuck: What?
Serena: She won't take it. So, given that if she's pregnant and you're the father...
Chuck: No! We used a condom.
Serena: Well, obviously it broke.
Chuck: What's obvious is that your best friend has kept you in dark.
Serena: What are you talking about?
Chuck: I handle my business. Apparently, Nate doesn't.
Serena: I can't believe you didn't tell me about you and Nate.
Blair: What did he say?
Serena: Nothing. Chuck did. I went to see him because I thought maybe he could talk some sense into you.
Blair: You had no right to do that.
Serena: I was trying to help you, B. I took a public bullet for you. Let another rumor about me run rampant. The whole school heard, even Dan.
Eleanor: What's going on?
Serena: Ask Blair. Her version of the story is always better.
Serena: Morning!
Dorota: Good morning, miss Serena.
Serena: Anybody notice the weather, today?
Blair: What?
Serena: Take a look outside, B. My first response would be that the sky is a clear blue, easy.
Blair: Dorota, you may be excused now.
Serena: "What are you up to besides missing me?"
Dan: "Just wondering whether you were missing me."
Chuck: You know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.
Serena: Ah. Incest, the universal taboo. One of the, uh, only ones you haven't violated.
Chuck: I'm game if you are.
Blair: A real Waldorf Christmas eve. Eleanor drew the line at Christmas day. That's only for me, her, and Dorota.
Serena: Well, it's still a couple days with your dad.
Blair: No, it'll be more than just a couple of days. I'm going to convince him to stay in New York.
Serena: What about Paris and Roman?
Blair: Roman is a phase. My father belongs here with me. He only left New York to ride out the scandal. It's time to come home, don't you think? Hey, did you want to ask me something?
Serena: Yes! A gift idea for Dan, now that Vanessa brought him the most thoughtful Dan-like present ever.
Blair: Why don't you just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
Serena: Thank you! For being totally not helpful, at all. See you tomorrow night.
Blair: Bye!
