It's cool how the lights change color. Wonder if it's a salt water pool - doesn't sting your eyes like chlorine. Not that that's her problem.

Shane: Do you ever go back to right after dad died and wish you could do things differently?
Nancy: I try not to.
Shane: I do. All the time.

Shane: Shane: Aaargh! Fuck you, fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver.

Silas [about baby Botwin]: He's kind of cute
Shane: Who cares? He's probably just gonna want to play soccer

Shane: Why don't you sell something people want.
Celia: Like what?
Shane: Like drugs.

Nancy: You're guzzling coffee?
Shane: Ignacio says it puts hair on you chest
Nancy: Right and spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo

Nancy [talking about the ring from Esteban]: You notice anything different? about my hand?
Shane: Oh yeah. he said he was going to ask you.
Nancy: He told you?
Shane: We had an hombre to hombre talk... much respect... I'm cool

Shane: You stuck your penis inside my mother at least once.
Nancy: Ok, then. Good night, Shane. Go upstairs.

Mr. Sandusky: Hello Shane. Doing your reading?
Shane: Mister Sandusky, er, did you actually read the Kiterunner before you assigned it?
Mr. Sandusky: I did, I thought you guys can handle it. Can you handle it, Shane? 'Cause it seems like you can handle a lot. You're such a multi-tasker.
Shane: I don't know what you're talking about.
Mr. Sandusky: Sure you do.
Shane: No, I don't.
Mr. Sandusky: Shane, I have 23 papers to grade tonight, they're all on Anne Frank. Do you know how depressing that is?

Nancy: (sees Shane get knocked down on soccer field) Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?!
Celia: Well, technically, Nancy, the Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.

Shane Botwin: Can we go home now, please?
Nancy: It's not even halftime.
Shane: I don't feel well. I think I have rickets.

Shane: Do you think I'm weird?
Judah: Totally weird, but you're awesome. Αnd I wouldn't trade you in for any other almost-10-year-old on earth.
Shane: What if there's life on other planets and there's an unbelievable, amazing 10-year old out there?
Judah: Why would I trade now? To me, you're the best dude, you are the amazing unbelievable Shane Botwin.

Weeds Quotes

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin

You've made your bed, now f**k in it.

Nancy Botwin