Shane: You're not a bad influence on being a drug dealer.
Shane: You're a bad influence because you're a bad drug dealer.

Nice hat. We should practice. I say ding and you hop. Ding!

Don't make me get all Pilar on your ass.

Shane: But you're glad I did it.
Nancy: I'm glad it was done - not by you. Don't smile.

Silas: Maybe she's not dead - maybe she's just injured.
Shane: Maybe she's just injured before mom pulled the automatic pool cover over her head.

I liked Audra - but, you'll get over it. Time heals all wounds, well, I guess not all wounds.

Silas: What's it like?
Shane: What?
Silas: Killing someone. Do you feel different?
Shane: No.
Silas: Do you feel bad?
Shane: No - at least not yet.

Lupita: Are you a killer?
Shane: I don't like labels.

Silas: You serious?
Shane: Serious as dads heart attack.

She was gonna kill us so I popped the bitch.

Nancy: You're underage, thankfully.
Shane: I think I've earned it.
Nancy: You've gone off the deep end.
Shane: Deep end - get it.

Nancy: Shane - Don't let go of that stick thing.
Shane: It's called a mallet.

Weeds Quotes

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin

You've made your bed, now f**k in it.

Nancy Botwin