South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSharon Marsh Quotes
Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!
Grandpa Marsh
Grandpa: Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap? You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Sharon: Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Grandpa Marsh: Well he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and makeup wrapping their peckers around each other's faces!
Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.
Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.
Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!
Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.
Newscaster: The spontaneous combustion problem escalates as more and more people go back to holding in all their farts. Meanwhile, the ozone layer continues to deplete as others refuse to hold in their farts for fear of combustion. As we all know, the cause for all of this is Randy Marsh, the son of a bitch who calls himself a scientist. We caught up with Mr. Marsh earlier today and he had this to say:
Randy Marsh: Uhh, I, I don't know what to say--
(Cuts back to the newscaster.)
Newscaster: What an asshole! I hate that guy and so do you! And now onto the weather! It' f(beep)king hot! Thanks to Randy Marsh; son of a bitch.
(singing to Stan) Hush little baby, don't say a word, momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don't sing, momma's gonna bury it in the backyard
Sharon: Stanley look who's here, Aunt Flo.
Aunt Flo: Hello Stanley, remember me?
Stan: Hi Aunt Flo.
Sharon: Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month. Be nice.
Oh Stanley what have you done, baby!? What have you done? Shh, It's okay, hun, it's okay! You're such a good boy, Mommy's little angel! Now don't worry, Stanley, Mommy's gonna hide the body! Nobody's gonna take my baby away! I've got such a handsome boy!
</i> Sharon
Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?
Sharon: What are you doing sweetheart?
Stan: Getting a cookie. We're gonna build a clubhouse and then were......
(Sharon interrupts)
Sharon: You men are all alike. First you get a cookie, then you criticize the way I dress, and then the way I cook. I suppose next you'll tell me you need your space and that I'm sabotaging your creativity. Go ahead Stanly get your god damn cookie.
