South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Sheila Broflovski Quotes
Sheila: Alright, fine Kyle, you can go to the Raging Pussies concert if you clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to Cuba.
Kyle: What's Cuba?
Gerald: A communist country run by a dictator named Fidel Castro.
Kyle: And do I have to shovel the whole driveway or just the side the car's on?
Sheila: The whole thing.
Kyle: Ah jeez.
I think my boy does need to learn about sexual educationfrom the school.
Stan: But Chef, when IS the right time for us to start having sex?
Chef: It's very simple, children; The right time to start having sex isseventeen.
Kyle: Seventeen?
Chef: Seventeen.
Sheila: So, you mean seventeen as long as you're in love?
Chef: Nope, just seventeen.
Gerald: But what if you're not ready at seventeen?
Chef: Seventeen. You're ready.
Oh that's right, we have 2 Kyles now. We'll just call you Kyle, and you Kyle2.
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: I gotta get back to Connecticut.
Sheila: Now that things have changed for Kyle, his mother needs him back.
Kyle: Do you promise! I mean oh That's too bad dude What changed for you?
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Well I invested in that IT thing and there was a bailout so I received a 5 million dollar bailout cross-cheque which I can use to help my family so I guess good-bye, cousin.
Kyle: See ya cousin, hope to see you soon. (whispers)Not too soon I hope.
(The boys all snicker)
(After a few seconds)The Boys (in unison): 5 MILLION DOLLARS?!
Gerald Broflovski: Principle Victoria are you aware that my client was being harassed at your school?
Principal Victoria: Well not any more than any other student.
Gerald Broflovski: So you admit that harassment goes on?
Principal Victoria: I don't know.
Gerald Broflovski: You don't know, Your the principal!
Principal Victoria: I can't be around them every second.
Gerald Broflovski: So it does go on!
Principal Victoria: Alright alright i killed him. I hit him over the head and I cut up the body. I tried to burn it but it wouldn't burn. Oh the smell of it. I put the legs in garbage bags and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it.
(Principal Victoria starts crying)
Principal Victoria: Oh god!
Gerald Broflovski: Principal Victoria was Eric Cartmen called an a** Sucker yes or no?
Principal Victoria: I believe so yes.
Mr. Garrison: It's not my fault you're raising him Pagan.
Sheila: Jewish!
Mr. Garrison: Whatever.
Sheila: Gerald, do something about your smartass son!
Gerald: Uhh...mind your... mother, smartass.
Guy: Hi!
Sheila: Hi. Uh, do I know you?
Guy: Oh no, but I never miss a bris! I brought some dip.
Sheila: Oh great.
Mrs. Broflovski: Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, I told you, we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.
Mrs. Broflovski: Did you sleep in the same room?
Kyle: Yes, why?
Mrs. Broflovski: Bubbe, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again?
Kyle: No way, dude, it sucked ass, they don't even have cable.
Mrs. Broflovski: Well I think you need to spend more time with your friend.
Kyle: Kenny's not really my friend, Ma, I don't give a rat's ass about him.
