Sock: She's so hot
Ben: Smoking
Sock: Shut your mouth, that is my sister and I have dibs

Kristen: I always thought my brother would be shorter, with different hair, and a lot more Asian
Sock: I could squint for you but that'd be offensive, wouldn't it?

Ben: You're a marked man.
Sam: So, I get it. I understand if you guys can't hang out anymore.
Sock: I am sorry, Sam. But we are not here to listen to you whine about which dark army has marked you for death. Ok? We are here right now to honor the passing of the man who may or may not have been your biological father.
Ben: Well said, Sock.
Sock: Thank you. I recommend lighting the right foot and then running like hell

Sam: Evidently, I'm destined to end the world. I can't let that happen.
Sock: Well, you know what? You're not really good at anything, so you'd probably screw that up, too

You know what, Sammy, I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better right now, I don't. But I do know how to blow stuff up. So I figured, play to my strengths, right?

Sock: It's an unbelievable rush. I don't even know how to describe it. All I know is that one kiss from her and I felt better than I've ever felt in my entire life.
Ben: What does that even mean?
Sock: Okay, do you know how good you feel when you wear your bike pants?
Ben: Yeah.
Sock: Yeah, it's like that times twenty
Ben: Oh. I want a taste

Marlana: Every time I kiss you, it sort of shaves about a year off of your life.
Sock: Uh, but that would be the ass end of my life, right? The crappy years?

Sam: At least they hooked you up with that weird suit.
Ben: Yeah it was a present from an attempted murderer I met.
Sock: That's an attempted murderer suit?
Ben: Yes.
Sock: Nice. Can I try on the jacket?
Ben: Hands off.
Sock: I let you try on my homeless guy pants. Come on.
Ben: Not the same

This is the first and last time you will ever hear me say these words, but we shouldn't be drinking tonight

Sock: I'm gonna say a prayer when we do it.
Sam: Sock, she's a demon. I don't' think she'd want prayers.
Sock: I'm gonna sing some Sabbath when we do it.
Andi: That'll be real nice, Sock

Josie: First off, you're a complete moron to even be in this situation.
Ben: No one disputes that I'm a moron.
Sock: I tried to stop him, baby.
Ben: No you didn't.
Sock: No I didn

Andi: What, you guys couldn't even wear one of your tuxedo t-shirts. I mean, I know each one of you have one.
Ben: Actually, there's just the one. We share.
Sock: It's a rotation

Reaper Quotes

Hey, no shame in community college, K-Fed. I almost went


Sam [about the vessels]: Wait. So, they're not all little vacuums?
DMV Demon: The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron