Sock Quotes
Ben: Naked photos in a family album, Sock?
Sock: Yeah, Ben, that's what loving couples do, okay? Josie and I have enough photos of each other's junk to fill a library. Plus, Johnny Immigration will be so shocked he'll have no choice but to believe you guys are together.
Sara: That makes some sense.
Sock: Yeah, that's why I said it
Sam: No matter what Greg does to Andi, he can't stop her loving me. I just have to remind her of that, I can't lose.
Sock: Back up. Andi loves you?
Sam: Well of course she does.
Sock :She said that?
Sam: I... not in words.
Sock: Okay, 'cause no offense, really, but I've known you for what, 14 years, and I only sort of like you. You can be pretty irritating. I'm sorry, but... see, 'cause I love these shoes. Love is a complicated emotion, Sam. Full of tingly feelings and frustration and anger
Sock: Oh, you know what? I'm a little relieved that Sara's bun didn't come out of my oven, if you know what I'm talking about.
Ben: How could it possibly be yours?
Sock: Well, Ben, let's just say I had a very vivid dream and leave it at that, okay?
Ted: I would like to start the staff meeting on a happy note. We have a little bit of exciting news.
Sock: You finally moved out of your mom's house
Chicks do not want sensitive, okay? They want a bad boy. They want someone who is going to break all the rules. Someone who will bang them on the back of a motorcycle and then not do the dishes
Ben: Think about it, Sam. Women don't always tell you when you screw up. They like to give non verbal clues.
Sock: i.e., making out with another dude
Ben: Was his face made up of human skin like in The Texas Chainsaw?
Andi: Ben, everybody's face is made of human skin.
Sock: That is so true
Gladys: I'm going to Acapulco next week, and I need someone to watch over my cat.
Sock: Okay, by cat do you mean cat, or do you mean some kind of dragon?
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
Sock [filling out fake application forms]: What college did you attend?
Sam: Harvard.
Sock: I went to Oxford.
Sam: Yeah, but I also went to Yale Medical School
Sock: I research alternate power sources.
Sam: I have a 4-foot vertical leap
Now listen to me, Ben. I'm going to spit some scientific fact at you. The longer most men are in a relationship, the happier they get. The opposite is true for the lady folk, okay? So we would just like to see you happy making a woman miserable, like we're both doing
