Stan Marsh Quotes

Why’d you have to rub your clit on stage dad?

There have been malicious rumors started at this elementary school that my beautiful fiancee is a hobbit. That is not funny and it is not true. Yes, she is heavier than most of her pictures show her to be. Yes, she gets her hair lasered off her body and yes, she has a friend named Gandalf, who happens to be a wizard.

Stan: Just one thing, Morgan Freeman: how come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?
Morgan Freeman: Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.

Stan: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
Jimmy: Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
Clyde: Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie, I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me.

Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.

Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!

Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?

Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.

Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!

Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!

Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!

The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back! It was a 5th generation nano, so I can't trade it in anywhere!

South Park Quotes

Wendy: (singing) Mrs. Landers was a health nut, she cooked food in a wok. Mr. Harris was her boyfriend and he had a great big
Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit, and I don't want my breakfast because it tastes like
Shitzus make good house pets, they're cuddly and sweet; monkeys aren't good to have 'cause they like to beat their
Meeting in the office, or meeting in the hall, the boss he wants to see you, so you can suck his
Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt. Mrs. Roberts doesn't like him, but that's 'cause she's a
Contaminated water can really make you sick: your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your
Dictate what I'm saying, 'cause it will bring you luck, and if you all don't like it I don't give a flying (beep).
Cartman: Thanks Wendy. Don't call us, we wont call you either.

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

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