Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXSterling Archer Quotes
We've got the whole Breakfast club in here. I'm Emilio Estevez, Cyril's obviously Anthony Michael Nerd. Mother, you're Paul Gleason, Krieger's the loose cannon Judd Nelson, and Lana, you're...
Ma, they done killed old Rando.
You know what they say - it's better to have a gun and not need it, than to be the world's biggest dickhead, and inside your head, there's a million more dicks.
I meant the pain of disappointing you would bite...alligator...ish...ly.
Do the right thing, Cyril. You have nothing to live for.
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight. (pause) Haha, why are we still not doing phrasing?
Cyril: Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?
Archer: Yes Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccines.
Cyril: Go where?
Archer: Well long term, I was thinking home. Short term, somewhere that's not the crocodile version of a drive thru.
Blah blah blah, some joke about you two having vaginas, let's go.
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
What? I don't think it's racist to assume that a previously uncontacted tribe of indigenous peoples might react unpredictably, perhaps even wildly, to a bunch of white guys who walk up and hand them a goddamn M16!
Cyril: What do crocodiles eat?
Archer: Everything! They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits.
