Favorite Ted Crisp Quotes
Never give up. That's what I always tell my daughter. She tells me to stop telling her, but I tell her I can't, because that would be giving up
Veronica: And the next time some survey asks how happy you are, you check "very," or I'll give you something to be happy about.
Ted: I'm not sure that makes any...
Veronica: The hair is up. That's all they hear
Veronica and her hair were working hard on the company's campaign to improve morale. They both put on a good front, but one of them was feeling frustrated and the other was feeling dry and flaky
Ted: Listen, you're not, uh, you know...
Veronica: What, Ted? Embarrassed? Upset? Disappointed? Itchy? Hungry? Earning twice your salary? Don't worry, I'm not any of those things. Maybe a little hungry. Plus, the salary thing
Linda: I just made three new friends. Maybe I was wrong about the cubicle themes. For the first time since I've been here, I actually feel like I'm part of something.
Ted: Glad to hear it. I have to go to a strip club tomorrow with a bunch of old men.
Linda: Wow. What theme did the company give you?
Manny: Ted, you're so put together. It's like you stepped out of a magazine. Didn't you ever get a mustard stain on your shirt, or a hooker's vomit on your pants?
Ted: Well, I did do one of those things when I was twelve at a baseball game. I won't tell you which one it is, but it was the game of my life
It turned out, Don was really a good guy. Linda was right. He was funny and smart. And for some reason, he could name every freshwater fish in North America. Plus he once played miniature golf with Tiger Woods
Ted: At least meat grown in a test tube doesn't feel pain. Please tell me it doesn't feel pain.
Lem: We don't think so.
Phil: Yeah, although interestingly, it does respond to music
Look, the company does all sorts of crazy things. That doesn't mean we have to be crazy, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go seduce a 55-year-old man
Ted: You know, I'd like to believe after everything I've done for this company over the years, they'd show me a little more loyalty than this.
Veronica: Yes, I know it's hard to accept that giant companies don't care about people. I know how hard it was for me when I first realized it... when I was 8.
I think I know my last name. It's the one thing my father and I agree on
Veronica: We have a problem. The Food Division just told me that the "Extra Fun Mac and Cheese" I'm supposed to be presenting to the shareholders causes blindness if eaten more than twice a week. Plus, no matter how long it's cooked, it never gets hot.
Ted: Maybe it's not Mac and Cheese.
Veronica: Oh, no, it has to be. They've already designed the box
