Delilah: What is it?
McGee: I don't know. I can't hear. I'll meet you inside?
Delilah: Okay.

Tony: Tim butt-dialed me.
McGee: Well it doesn't mean you have to listen.
Tony: Oh yes it does. I find you compelling, Tim.

McGee: Delilah? This is not a good time.
Delilah: Well I'm not here to see you.
McGee: Then who?
Vance: Me. If that's okay with you, Special Agent McGee.

McGee: You know it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although, maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Fornell: Best leave the psychoanalysis to Duckie. If you value breathing.

Porter: Is this another dramatic touch, McGee?
McGee: Not exactly, Madame Secretary. Network security detected an unauthorized electronic transmission. Everything shuts down automatically.
Porter: So that means someone's trying to hack in from the outside.
McGee: No. Lockdown only happens if the attack's internal.
Vance: The threat's in this room.

McGee: What. Did you read a book on disarming bad guys?
Bishop: Three older brothers.

McGee: You ever going to get a new car?
Tony: Well, firstly I never buy new cars. Secondly, I need something that ignites my passions. It's like a woman: I need to be in love before I commit.
McGee: You've never committed to a woman.

Tony: Listen, I know I made fun of you in the past for riding the bus, but I have to admit I was wrong. I've been using public transporation and I really like it.
McGee: You're kidding.
Tony: No. I have time to read, make some calls....and best of all, I get to watch people. People are fascinating.
McGee: Okay Tony I'm...I don't even know what I am right now. But I know you, and this is not you.

McGee: Tony what's going on? Do you have a drinking problem?
Tony: No. No, I just....I joined this men's support group. Meets in the church hall two nights a week.
McGee: You serious?
Tony: Uh huh. I know - it doesn't sound like me. But, with the past year I just wanted to shake things up a little bit. Meet some new people. This guy at the gym told me about the group and I thought it sounded like a good idea. And it is. It's fun. The Rev drove me to Quantico the other morning. Interesting guy. He's helping me be less judgemental.

Tony: Sgt. Dunne, Olivia Chandler and Wendell Kaiser all have one thing in common. They all go to AA meetings.
McGee: Probably where they met.
Tony: The sergeant and the trophy wife are lovers. The desk clerk at the Chevy Chase Lodge said that they were regulars. It's just like that movie "Body Heat". William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. God. She was really something, boss. A head turner. Anyway, they were young lovers and they wanted the rich husband's money and him out of the way.
McGee: On the other hand, you've got Wendell Kaiser who's deep in debt to his bookie and needs him off his back.
Tony: So they help each other and switch murders.
McGee: While Kaiser was in New York, Dunne killed the bookie with Olivia's help. She drove him. Her car was in the vicinity. Who would ever suspect them? I mean there's no connection, no motive.
Tony: Tomorrow, Sgt. Dunne is going to deploy. Olivia Chandler's off to Jamaica. And I'm betting that while they're away, her husband's going to have a terrible accident at the hands of Mr. Kaiser here - a man with whom he has no connection.

McGee: I see that victim sensitivity training really paid off.
Tony: I think somebody's been spending a little too much time watching Bette Midler movies. Delilah have you sit down and watch "Beaches" again?
McGee: Leave her out of it.

McGee: You don't deserve yogurt, you know that? All you do is bash people: me, the suit guy, Jackson.
Tony: Okay. I got it. Thanks for setting me straight. You are the wind beneath my wings.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?