Turk Quotes
Turk: Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
Carla: Well, you're a surgeon. So, you've got the god-complex, the cockiness, the whole "married to the job" thing. You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it. You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there. But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing; and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no." So there's a bunch of reasons. Pick your favorite.
J.D.: I'd go with the "god-complex"...but it's hard to choose, you know, they're all so good
Turk: I'm thinking about asking Carla out today. What do you think?
J.D.: I think the janitor's out to get me.
Turk: Wow. Thank you so much for your help. You know what? Why don't you be just a little bit more paranoid?
Turk: I'm nervous, man. Why am I nervous?
Todd: Todd's your wing-man, buddy. I will not leave your side. Hey, baby.
Carla: Keep moving, frat boy.
Todd: You got it
Carla: Come on. Out with it.
Turk: Don't rush me! I mean...you shouldn't be impatient with what I think is the opportunity of a lifetime.
Carla: Mmm. Okay, so I'm gonna go sit down because, you're so sexy, my knees are weak.
Turk: Really
Elliot: Look, Turk, I know that I don't always make the best first impression...or second, for that matter. Anyway, I'd like us to be friends, and I thought, you know, maybe I could get to know you a bit better...see what you're about, uh, for instance, when did you meet Morgan Freeman?
Turk: That's my mom.
Elliot: ...I like her freckles
Turk: I'm telling ya, Kelso didn't even ask, and she gave you full credit.
Carla: I don't care. Too little, too late. Plus, I know why you're really here. So, I'm gonna park myself right here in the "V.I.P. section," so you can give me what'cha got.
Turk: I was gonna tell you how I busted J.D.'s chops the other day for wanting to be friends with a girl. And now I find it so amazing to see how strong you are, how well you carry yourself, how I'd give anything just to wake up in the morning and watch you read the paper. But instead, I think you should hop off your broom for a second, try and remember what it was like when you first started here, and give Elliot a break. Because she may be a chore, but she is a good person. Your ass looks especially fine today.
Carla: Pick me up tomorrow at seven.
Turk: She's not the only one that can do a speech. I can do a speech
Turk [referring to Elliot]: Hey, dude, why is she here all the time?
J.D.: God! Just give her a chance, man.
Turk: Oh! You want to hit that.
J.D.: No!
Turk: Yeah!
J.D.: She's just a friend. I think it's healthy, hanging out with a girl without the ultimate goal being sex. You know?
Turk: I'm not following
Turk [about Carla]: I'm not really interested in her.
Todd: Yeah? Then maybe the Todd'll show that little biscuit some love.
[Turk stars down Todd]
J.D.'s narration: Maybe he's a little interested.
Todd: Fine. Todd'll show himself some love
J.D.: You know how I'm totally down with the rap music?
Turk: Dude, be whiter.
J.D.: Here's the thing: TuPac, DMX, Dr. Dre, in most of their songs, these artists use an extremely volatile racial slur...the "N" word.
Turk: I got it.
J.D.: Right. My question is this: If we're both singing along, and knowing that otherwise I would never use the word, am I allowed to say...
Turk: No.
J.D.: See, that's good for me to know. I didn't...I didn't know that
Turk: This morning, I had my hands inside of a guy's chest. I couldn't even see them! I should not be allowed to do stuff like that. Whazzup.
J.D.: And you weren't scared?
Turk: One way or another, everyone stops bleeding. That is so deep.
Carla: No it isn't.
Turk: It's a little deep
Turk: Todd, J.D. J.D., this is my man, Todd.
J.D.: What's goin'...?
J.D.'s narration [After having his hand slapped by Todd]: And like that I was back in high school. You see, surgical interns are all slice 'em and dice 'em. They're the jocks. Medical interns, we're trained to think about the body. Diagnose, test. The medical interns...well, we're the chess club
Turk: Wait. Tell me if I'm going too fast, okay?
Carla: Lose the clothes
