I was trying to get laid! And I used your dead grandmother's funeral as an excuse to smoke...

Murphy: You were just trying to be a good person.
Michael: I was trying to get laid! And I used your dead grandmother's funeral as an excuse to smoke weed and lose my virginity. Lorri, that's how bad of a person I am! The worst part is I didn't even get you there! It didn't even matter.


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Episode:
In The Dark Season 3 Episode 3: "Somewhere Over The Border"
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In The Dark
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In The Dark Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes, In The Dark Quotes
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In The Dark Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Murphy: You were just trying to be a good person.
Michael: I was trying to get laid! And I used your dead grandmother's funeral as an excuse to smoke weed and lose my virginity. Lorri, that's how bad of a person I am! The worst part is I didn't even get you there! It didn't even matter.

These past few hours with you have been more exhilarating than the entirety of my life up until this point and that's because I was actually being me. And you know what, I'm going to tell my mom that I"m gay, and I'm going tell her that I took my dad's car, and that I'm so sick of being perfect all of the time, and she needs to get you to Thunder Bay.

Michael

In The Dark Season 3 Episode 3

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  2. I was trying to get laid! And I used your dead grandmother's funeral as an excuse to smoke...