American Rust Season 1 Episode 2: "Happy Returns" Quotes
Del: [looking at a photo] It's definitely Pete Novick. The question is, who's the guy with the long hair and a beard?
Steve: Looks like Jesus of Nazareth.
Del: In off-brand sneakers and denim jacket.
Steve: JC Penney Jesus. Of Pennsylvania.
I don't care if you can make me cum a river of gold coins with a fuckin' card trick, Virgil. You're not stoppin' by. And besides, I'm not messin' with you again until you get yourself checked out.Grace
Virgil: Hey. Whatever you do, do not write Many Happy Returns. Katie Danek's fat mother just chewed me out for it.
Billy: What's wrong with Many Happy Returns?
Virgil: Apparently, it's bad luck to say it at a wedding? You're only supposed to say it at birthdays and New Year's, and shit. Phyllis Danek just bit my head off! FATASS WALRUS!
Shonie: What happens if you say it at a wedding?
Virgil: I don't know, sugarbush. You probably fall in a hole or something.
Shonie: Sugarbush! [grabs him]
Virgil: Titty twist? Don't be titty twisting me in public!
Make sure you sign them two Andrew Jacksons so they know we were here cause they're gonna be too goddamned hung over to remember anything tomorrow.Virgil