Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Archer Quotes
Lana: Well, I did get an A in college biology.
Dr. Sklodowska: Oh,wow, great. So when we're traversing the occipital lobe, you'll know what to do if the ship is in imminent danger of phagocytosis by polymorphonuclear leukocytes?
Lana: It actually might have been an A minus.
I decided to let Ray drive. With his racist robot monster hand!
Archer: So let me guess..
Lana: Yeah, who ever he is, he ghosted an ID file onto our world wide data base.
Archer: Yeah, which you probably found while researching me-
Lana: [Sigh]
Archer: Lana, 'cause you're in the ah... Danger Zone!
Maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pancy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school, even the one down in Grenada which was my fall-back but whatever, that doesn't give you the right to bully me! I have had it!
Krieger
Lana: His left foot?!
Archer: Well that's good.
Slater: How could that possibly be good?
Archer: Well, relative to Krieger's asshole...
Archer: Seriously, where do you keep the fruity drink powder? I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry.
Lana: How noble.
Archer: Well, no, I'd still bitch about it. And I think I've earned that right!
Cheryl: Beep beep beep.
Pam: Oh, your giving me the truck noise, Karen Carpenter stunt double?
Cheryl: I'm sorry, I thought you were walking backwards.
Lana: We're the size of a bacteria.
Dr. Sklodowska: Bacterium.
Lana: Thanks, Jill Nye.
Dr. Sklodowska: ...we could just ask me, the woman who graduated from Harvard Medical School summa cum laude.
Archer: With a minor in Spanish Bragging.
Dr. Sklodowska: A, that was Latin.
Lana: He knows.
There's enough room in the world for science and miracles.
Cheryl: It's Carol.
Archer: What? Since when?
Cheryl: Since I had it legally changed because you always call me Carol.
Archer: Wow, that's... excuse us.
Slater: Okay Gillette, now just slip it in, nice and easy.
Archer: Ugh. I mean, what about, "that's what she said", can we at least do that?