Are you constantly aware you have regular leg bones?

Ray

I bet $300 seems pretty cheap for a map right now.

Who am I. Lewis and/or Clark?

Lana: Why is there a camera?
Lance: I assume because this restaurant can't hold 3 million viewers

Best sex i've ever had. That includes Europe, Lana, and my Brazilian au pair.

Your version didn't have coveralls.

He's like the Pelé of fetch.

Something about nukes in Pakistan. Or one of the 'akistans.

Lana: Thank you for making me carry your bag through customs.
Woodhouse: No, thank you.

Archer: Are you kidding, I didn't even let [Woodhouse] go to his own brother's funeral.
Lana: Was he crushed?
Archer: He probably would have been if I told him about it.

Look, auditory hallucinations aren't going to make you any less delicious.

Pam [to "crab"]

That's why she hijacked his helicopter? Talk about rich people problems...

Archer Quotes

KGB (Crenshaw): This may be old cliche, but... we have ways of making you talk.
Archer: What, your little go-kart battery?
KGB (Crenshaw): Golf cart.
Archer: Whatever. Would you pick an accent and stick with it?

It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.

Archer