Are you shitting me? Bionic legs and you lifted with your back?

Obviously it's not heaven because Janis Joplin isn't giving me a rim job.

Malory: It's like if you've ever seen Jackie Gleason dance.
Pam: Is that a compliment?
Malory: I don't see how it possibly could be.

Sorry, that's just a sympathy boner.


Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and shit as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get so erect.

Shorty over there has a club with lumps on it. Kicking it old school Bedrock style.

Ron: Who the hell is going to sneak in from Canada?
Archer: Arctic wolves?

One of carbon's many oxides.

My third biggest fear. He brings home a whore and says "we're married." Oh and the whore has bangs.


Read a book between bi-annual suit case robbings.

Archer: How many times do I have to apologize?
Cheryl: Just once would be nice.
Archer: Uh, no.

Sterling: I have an El Camino.
Ron: Oh so you're all set. That will hold way more hispanics and lawn mowers.

Archer Season 4 Quotes

Ray: Ooh! Here's an idea. Why don't you just saw your God damned head off?
Cyril: Geez. What's up your butt?
Ray: Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh, or maybe there is. I wouldn't know because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's Archer's fault!
Krieger: Uh, gettin' some mileage out of that, huh?

Malory: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.
Lana: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damselly?
Malory: Pam.