Ash vs Evil Dead
Sundays 9:00 PM on StarzAsh vs Evil Dead Quotes
Ash: Pablo, I hope your uncle can help us out, because me no likey being responsible for everything bad.
Pablo: Ahh. Yeah. Me no likely, either.
Hello? Guy with a very special book. Looking to save the world with it!
Lionel: The book itself is harmless, unless wielded by someone very evil or someone very stupid.
Ash: OK. Let's say some really cool guy read from the book by mistake, and summoned something from way back, and now he just wants to put it back, no harm, no foul?
Ash: OK, look, if we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros. That's not a racist thing, Pablo. That's just a great dessert.
Pablo: OK. You know I'm not Mexican, right?
Ash: That's the spirit. Sit tight, watch the wheels, be back in jif.
Pablo: Is this what it's like to be you?
Ash: Yep, pretty much. I've never killed my boss before, so that was new.
Pablo: That was the scariest thing that ever happened to me, I thought I was dead. But then it was so cool when you said to me, 'thanks for the heads up.' At first I thought, did he mean it like that? But then I realized, it's the jefe. Of course he did. [laughs]
Ash: This ain't my first rodeo, kid.
Kelly: You know they were Jewish, right?
Ash: I, I did not. I wish you could have said something before I made those dumb crosses, but OK.
You're kinda like a young me. Deadites ruined your life, and you're hot as hell.
Pablo: Can you just do me a solid and be polite in there?
Ash: Oh, I'll be polite. Right up until I'm rude.
Ash: Just stay behind me, let the boomstick do the talkin', if things get hairy, use your bottle.
Pablo: [holds up broken beer bottle] I don't think it's a very good weapon, jefe. You had to stab Roper about 50 times.
Ash: Hey, I was sharpening it for you. Now come on. You ready?
Ash: Well, for your first time you did great. Most folks end up dead.
Pablo: I don't want to end up dead like most folks.
Mr. Roper: Are you really going to use your fucking lizard as an excuse to get out of work again?
Ash: I am.
Mr. Roper: OK. Look, you retard. And I can say retard because my gardner is a huge one. I know all about you. You think you can't get fired 'cause you have seniority? Ha ha ha. OK, technically you're correct, but that doesn't mean I have to help you.
Ash: So, to be clear, that's a nay nu on the paycheck?
Pablo: It's good to see you jefe.
Ash: It's good to be back.
Pablo: How does it feel?
Ash: Groovy.
