Blockbuster
Thursdays on NetflixBlockbuster Quotes
I kinda like all those Buscemis staring at me. Makes me feel like I’m in an unproduced Charlie Kaufman movie.
Timmy
By chance, do you know if we carry the butthole cut of Cats?
Damon
We haven’t had this many customers since 50 Shades of Grey made the whole country horny.
Timmy
Carlos: What the hell is your problem?
Damon: Oh, well, I’m allergic to tree nuts. Gluten wrecks me. The sun and I, we’re not friends --
Kayla: That was almost really bad.
Connie: Almost really bad is the story of my life.
Timmy: Look at me. Tomorrow my mom’s forcing me to tech her Korean church production of The Vagina Monologues.
Eliza: That’s why you have an inflatable labia in your car.
Timmy: I’ve been turned down by six therapists.
Eliza: I guarantee to you that the guy who owns the tropical fish store, he’s got some weird sex scandal that’s just waiting to blow up.
Connie: You don’t own that many saltwater aquariums without things eventually getting nasty.
Connie: Act like one of your favorite bosses from a movie
Timmy: Like Boss Baby of Devil’s Advocate?
Eliza: One of those is a baby, and one is Satan.
Connie: And look at the heights they reach despite their circumstances.
You really need to learn some self-care. I mean, you’re a white woman, you should be an assassin at it.
Carlos
I’ve always thought of myself as over 40 at heart.
Hannah
There’s no worse sound in the world than a man describing film terms.
Eliza
Timmy: Does normal Tinder still exist?
Kayla: It does, but people just use it to buy and sell used furniture.
