Community Season 1 Quotes
Jeff: In the last two months you've doubled the national average for the amount lived per life time
Pierce: Well I do have a young African American friend
Jeff: But more importantly you're dressed like a gladiator in a desk fort you built during a bad trip
Jeff: Are you going to the faculty party? Make me your plus one
Senor Chang: Give it up, Winger. Professor Slater doesn't date students... or married asians that drive mopeds
Jeff: Are you trying to get formidable on me?
Annie: It worked on pierce
Jeff: Infomercials work in pierce
I'm barely a student. I'm older than you, I drive a Lexus, I saw Ghost Busters in the theater, and look, my gums are receding
Jeff
Shirley: My husband's been gone for six months, I think it's time I start embracing being single
Pierce: Message received
I'm sure Troy will sign up for football if and when some accident damages the part of his brain that feels pride
Jeff
Shirley: I need to go to the bathroom first, Britta?
Britta: No, I don't have to go
Annie: I'll go with you
Britta: What, she's offended?
Jeff: Girls go in groups, did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the nineties?
Annie: I've been following you, how did you get Troy to play football?
Jeff: I'm not having a conversation with someone that emerged from a bush
Annie: Because I'm right?
Jeff: No, because I'm not in a commercial for a breakfast cereal
Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode
Jeff: I'm saying you're a football player, its in your blood
Troy: That's racists
Jeff: Your soul?
Troy: That's racist
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay
Jeff: That's homophoebic
Troy: That's black
Jeff: That's racist!
Troy: Damn
I don't know about you, but I know I ended up here because things weren't that great out there. You should try accepting where you're at, man. Take a pottery class or something
Troy [to Jeff]
Jeff: You're just as selfish as I am. You're just not as good at it yet.
Annie: You're right. I could never be as good as you. Probably because I actually care.
Jeff: Profound, but technically meaningless
