Britta: We do need the money. The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for ten years.
Dean: If we get this money, we can buy 100 pigs and make everybody happy.

If I wanted to wait on a rich man hand and foot, I would have gone to Dubai with that sheik I met at Trader Joe's.

Britta

The barber shop--a reminder of the era when men were men, and women were sex-cooks who did laundry.

Pierce

Kevin doesn't know about labor laws, or forty hour work weeks, or that that guy named him after his dog.

Troy

What are you, the trout police? Because if you are, you're legally bound to tell me, or else it's entrapment.

Sullivan

I believe that the good Lord made Chang, Chang. Kevin is a choice.

Shirley

I'm gonna go get a sandwich, which, unlike "changnesia," is real.

Jeff

Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.

Dean Pelton

I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.

Dean Pelton

I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end.

Jeff

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

William: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
Jeff: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
William: Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
Jeff: Wouldn't accept one.

Community Season 4 Quotes

Whatevs, we'll take it next semes. Ter. Semester.

Annie

While they were incepting, I got their balls.

Leonard