Adrian: Oh yes, I’m very skeevy.
Genevieve: Well, it was a long time ago. I’m willing to forgive you.
Adrian: That seems misguided.

Where’s his cage? The thing you keep children in so they can’t get away.


You call him Carmen. I call him Diablo.


Don’t go Catholic on me because I will call the Pope and tell him about Javier.


I don’t want to die, not while I still look this good.


I let you get away from me once. I can’t let that happen again.


Zoila: Marriage is exciting, isn’t it?
Marisol: Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have to go turn my husband into the police.

Adrian: I keep wondering how in God’s name we manage to outlast so many other couples. I think it’s our sense of humor.
Evelyn: Oh, I was going to credit our high tolerance of adultery or perversion.

If I want to hear a sexy accent, I can talk to myself.


Adrian: I think of Valentina as a daughter.
Evelyn: Oedipus would be proud.

Nick: For what it’s worth, I am so sorry.
Evelyn: After all these years, it’s worth nothing at all.

Do all the maids have to be Latina? It seems kind of racist.

Eva Longoria

Devious Maids Quotes

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?


"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"