Razor: Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?
Bill: What’s the difference?
Razor: I call one “good” and the other “bad.”
Bill: ...I’ll take the good one.
Razor: Excellent. A positive attitude will help with the horror to come!
Bill: What horror?!
Razor: Mainly the tea.

The Doctor [about Missy]: She’s the only person I’ve ever met who’s even *remotely* like me.
Bill: So, more than anything, you want her to be good?
Nardole: Are you having an *emotion*?

Well, I am that mysterious adventurer in all of time and space known only as Doctor Who. These are my disposables, Exposition and… Comic Relief.

Missy

You’re probably handsome, aren’t you? Well, congratulations on your relative symmetry.

Missy

Missy: Hello. I’m Doctor Who. And these are my plucky assistants, Thing 1 and… the other one.
Nardole [long-sufferingly]: Bill, Nardole.
Missy: We picked up your distress call [broad wink] and here we are to help, like awesome heroes.
Bill: Yeah, we’re not assistants.
Missy: Okay, right, so what does he call you? Companions? Pets? Nags?

That's the trouble with hope. It's hard to resist.

The Doctor

See, that’s what I’m trying to teach you, Missy. You understand the universe, you see it, you grasp it, but you never learned to hear the music.

The Doctor

The Doctor: So, you thought the Eater of Light could destroy a whole Roman army.
Kar: It did!
The Doctor: And a whole Roman army could weaken or kill the beast.
Kar: Yes.
The Doctor: Well, it didn’t work! You got a whole Roman legion slaughtered, and you made the deadliest creature on this planet very, very cross indeed. To protect a muddy little hillside, you doomed your whole world.

Nardole: We’re looking for Bill, right?
The Doctor: No, we’re looking for the maximum danger in the immediate area and walking right into it!

Listen, you are all very, very angry. And really, you’re just scared. But for now, would you mind awfully just jumping out of your skins and allowing Nardole and I to escape in the confusion?

The Doctor

Nardole [about a crow]: But it *talked*!
The Doctor: Well, of course it did. It’s a crow. All crows talk.
Nardole [taken aback]: Well, they don’t talk in the *future*!
The Doctor: Of course they do. Human beings just stopped having intelligent conversations with them, and they all took a bit of a huff.
Nardole: Crows in the future all in a huff?
The Doctor: Of course they are! Haven’t you noticed that noise they make? It’s like a mass sulk!

Five thousand Roman soldiers. Eyes peeled. They must have left some kind of mark on the landscape -- burning huts, slaughtered locals, sweetie wrappers.

The Doctor

Doctor Who Quotes

Only in darkness are we revealed. [...] Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis. This is what *he* believes, and this is the reason above all I love him, my husband. My madman in a box. My Doctor.

Nardole [quoting River Song]

Once, long ago, a fisherman caught a magic haddock. The haddock offered him three wishes in return for its life. The fisherman said, “I’d like for my son to come home from the war. And a hundred pieces of gold.” The problem is, the magic haddock, like robots, don’t think like people. The fisherman’s son came home from the war, in a coffin. And the king sent a hundred gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. The fisherman had one wish left. What do you think he wished for? Some people say he should have wished for an infinite series of wishes, but if your city proves anything, it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. [...] In fact, the fisherman wished he hadn’t wished the first two wishes.

The Doctor