Joan: A woman did this to you.
Sherlock: ...a highly-trained woman.

Joan: Were you two in a fight, or were you having sex?
Sherlock: The two aren't mutually exclusive...

Sherlock: I know, Father.
Morland: Know what?
Sherlock: Why you never mentioned your brush with death. Why you never asked me, the finest detective you know, for assistance. You believe that I'm the man who tried to kill you.

Oh, and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you -- you're alive!

Sherlock

Well, I've always found the best way to come at a haystack is with a pitchfork.

Sherlock

Do me a favor -- don't be too careful when you arrest them. Person who did this belongs down here.

Eugene

So, you'll break her nose, put her in the ER, but you draw the line at murder?

Marcus Bell

We really are living in a golden age for perverts.

Joan

Neil Dannon: Look, Toby is not some loner creep, no matter how hard you try to paint him like one.
Sherlock [pulls out a box full of mutilated photos]: You were saying?

You want to steal something from a heavily-armed, meth-dealing band of bike-riding Satanists.

Sherlock

[about a violent biker gang] Well, they spared no expense embracing the cliches, haven't they?

Sherlock

You're finally making up for that childhood you never had... as a three-year-old girl.

Joan

Elementary Quotes

Watson: He looks like Point Break and Magic Mike had a baby. There ... uh ...
Sherlock: Truffles of the cinema, I presume.

I don’t care what cock I’m holding just as long I know how it got there…

Joan