I'm quite certain they were staging a fake murder when they fell victim to two real ones.

Sherlock

Sherlock: You're typically more expansive after your first hit of caffeine.
Joan: Yeah, well, you brought a bald cat to breakfast. I'm a little distracted.

Joan: You know, we don't have to do this whole 'secret agent' thing. We could just, ah, talk like normal people.
Emil Kurtz: That's easy for you to say. You're not the one spying on Morland Holmes!

You're not supposed to be an "asset," you're supposed to be a scientist, an impartial seeker of truth! But you're not! You're a charlatan! And you've sent at least one innocent man to prison, Louis Bowman!

Sherlock

We'd show you the crime scene photographs, but you'd probably just "recontextualize" them.

Sherlock

So this guy rips off other people's selfies, blows them up, and charges a hundred grand apiece? Surprised I"m not investigating *his* murder.

Detective Bell

Congratulations, Holmes. You just helped three spies get away with murder.

NSA Agent Dean McNally

By all means, distract me while I'm holding 240 volts in my hand!

Sherlock

Lin Wen: You think he was two-timing you!
Joan: Say he was. That would mean he was also two-timing *you*.
Lin Wen: True, but it's not like he and I were exclusive.
Joan: You said you were about to move in together!
Lin Wen: Sure, but that wouldn't have meant we had to stop having fun!

You were sex partners, not business partners. Why would moving his restaurant be any of your concern?

Sherlock

No. I did not report my illegal gaming business to the police.

Lin Wen

This is not a shelter for wayward and wounded realtors. I've got no desire to get shot by your pursuers. Or drawn into whatever complicated drama has drawn you here.

Sherlock

Elementary Quotes

MIchael [to Sherlock[: I thought she'd never leave.

Joan: You went a little fanboy in there.
Sherlock: Fanboy?

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