Straight lines hurt you as a child?

Sherlock [on an architectural design]

You must be looking forward to moving day. It's not often the doghouse is a step up!


Someone call for a doctor?


Sherlock: I am my mother's son.
Morland: You have more in common than you realize.

So, would-be murderers are only free to roam the halls and harass the residents during business hours?


Always great to get criminals back on the streets.


There's a vast gulf between 'impossible' and 'impossible to imagine.'


Sherlock: It's quite an audience today. If it wasn't for the lack of paparazzi, I'd assume that a reality TV star got vivisected.
Gregson: Three Chinese gangsters got shotgunned.
Sherlock: So, less fun.

Joan: I'm sorry I accused you of arson.
Sherlock: Well, I was the obvious suspect.

So, your alibi is that you were oiling your chainsaw.


Griffin, you seem like an exemplary young man, so perhaps you'd like to explain to me why you have a drug lab in your backyard?


Oh, if you say it's for the greater good, I am going to punch you!


Elementary Quotes

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.