Welcome to Peterotica on tape. I'm Betty White reading "The Hot Chick Who Was Italian or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish" by Peter Griffin. Chapter one, Oh god, you should have seen this one hot chick. She was totally Italian...or maybe some kind of Spanish.

Betty White

• Permalink: Welcome to Peterotica on tape. I'm Betty White reading The Hot C...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Girl: Hi! Would you be offended if I told you that your prose suggests a male, working class version of Emily Berate?
Peter: No. Would you be offended if I said I'd like to use your ass as a bongo drum?
Girl: Yes
Peter: Well then we....are on two....different....wavelengths.

• Permalink: Hi! Would you be offended if I told you that your prose suggests...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Peter: Hi Mr. Pewterschmidt!
Carter Pewterschmidt: Hello, Peter.
Peter: What's up?
Carter Pewterschmidt: Good...oh dammit...I mean...not much.
Peter: Whatcha got there?
Carter Pewterschmidt: Oh this? It's a gun.
Peter: Oh yeah?
Carter Pewterschmidt: Yeah, I'm going to kill you.

• Permalink: Hi Mr. Pewterschmidt! Hello, Peter. What's up? Good...oh d...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Guys, this is the best dirty book store in town; Family owned, great hours, and lots of parking in the rear!

Quagmire

• Permalink: Guys, this is the best dirty book store in town; Family owned, g...
• Added: December 02, 2009

That's the exit. Of course in this place, every exit's also an entrance.

Quagmire

• Permalink: That's the exit. Of course in this place, every exit's also an e...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Wow Peter that's a book isn't it? That's the first time I've seen you reading something that didn't later turn out to be a sandwich.

Brian

• Permalink: Wow Peter that's a book isn't it? That's the first time I've see...
• Added: December 02, 2009

I'm no school administrator, but there's an extension program going on in my trousers.

Cleveland

• Permalink: I'm no school administrator, but there's an extension program go...
• Added: December 02, 2009

I lost my home, my money, and perhaps just as serious, my wife left me!

Carter

• Permalink: I lost my home, my money, and perhaps just as serious, my wife l...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Peter: You can stay with us if you want, you filthy hobo. You shouldn't be embarrassed of mooching off your kids at age seventy.
Carter: Go to hell, fathead! Wait, have I used that one? No I haven't. Go to hell, fathead!

• Permalink: You can stay with us if you want, you filthy hobo. You shouldn't...
• Added: December 02, 2009

(as Peter opens the door) Hi. I'm Betty White. I just got a subpoena regarding an erotic novel and I'm looking for the son of a bitch responsible.

Betty White

• Permalink: (as Peter opens the door) Hi. I'm Betty White. I just got a subp...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Peter: Hey Meg, uh, we're trying to make some money and, um, would you like to buy some pot from your granddaddy and me?
Meg: Uh. Wow. Sure.
Peter: Aw. Fantastic.
(Carter hits Meg with a lamp)
Peter: What the hell was that for?
Carter: Now we've got the pot and the money.

• Permalink: Hey Meg, uh, we're trying to make some money and, um, would you ...
• Added: December 02, 2009